Our Search for Timmy

I can remember as a child finding a little golden pair of booties (They were actually bronze) in my mothers dresser drawer. I thought they were so cute and I assumed they were mine, I was the only child and very young at the time. I asked my mother about them and why she had them in her drawer. I was told not to touch them again and to put them back. That was the end of it until years later when I happened upon them again, only this time I could read, they had “Timothy Michael 1972″ inscribed on them. I thought this was strange but then again, my mother always liked to pick up nic-nacks, maybe she just thought they were cute and bought them somewhere. She also had a framed photo of a baby in her dresser drawer; I remember thinking this was odd too. Why wasn’t it on the wall with the rest of our pictures? I must have been 10 to 12 at this point and I had anywhere from 3-5 sisters and brothers, it was probably one of them. It wasn’t long after this that I was finally told the story of the booties and the picture…

Please bear with me…this story has been compiled from several stories I’ve heard over the years…

He was on the football team in high school; this is where my mother had seen him. My mother, Donna, had 2 older sisters so she frequently went to high school games etc, even before she was high school age. My father was interested in my mother’s older sister until he met my mother. Her age came up at one point and a few fibs were told on my Moms part, she added a couple years to her real age. By telling this little lie it was only about 2 years difference between them…that’s not too bad. The truth about her age had to come out eventually and it didn’t go well at all. As you would expect, my father got mad when he found out how young she really was and he broke off the relationship.

By the time the truth came out, it was too late; he had already fallen for her. Eventually, they got back together. One thing leads to another and “oops” they got pregnant, my mother was only 15. My mother wanted to keep the baby, but she was very young. She told her parents, they were not happy; it was not acceptable for a girl her age and unmarried to have a baby. My grandparents agreed to let her keep the baby, with some stipulations…marriage. Not long after this my mother’s older sister, also young and unmarried got pregnant too. I’m not sure why this decision was made, but my grandparents would not allow them both to keep the babies. My mother’s sister was older so permission was given for her to marry and to have the baby and my mother had to put hers up for adoption. I can not imagine how difficult this was for everyone. My mother was sent to live somewhere in RI until she had the baby.

My mother delivered a perfect baby boy in Newport, RI at St. Joseph’s hospital on October 20, 1972. She named him Timothy Michael. After this point I don’t have many details. My mother kept him for about a month until he was adopted through Catholic Charities in Brockton, MA by a family that already had a 2 year old girl. This is such a sensitive subject with the family; I have a hard time getting details. My mother did not want to give up her baby; she feels she was forced to. When I think back, I can remember my mother being depressed every year around his birthday and now I know why.

Even though over 30 years have gone by, I think her heart still breaks a little on his birthday.

Just an update – We found him, well sort of… We were contacted by someone who knows him, I can not say who, but we were told that he grew up in a great family and is alive and well. Of course we’d all like to know him someday, but for now just knowing that he is okay was a big relief to all of us. We hope that eventually he’ll want to meet all of us but we’ll have to take what we can get at this point. I don’t remember exactly when we got the call but it was back in 2004.